We should ban life jackets and other flotation devices. They only encourage risky behavior. The only 100% effective way to prevent drowning is total abstinence from going in the water.
And if you do, by chance, find yourself struggling with drowning, then no life-saving or otherwise procedure or act should be allowed to be administered. You got yourself into this mess, you have to live with the consequences.
You should see drowning as a gift.
You, there with the sunglasses! You’re just asking for it.
Also, if you were forcibly pushed into the water, don’t worry. If it was a legitimate pushing, your body will find a way to shut out all the water and survive the drowning.
“As I stood there waiting I must say I was perhaps more nervous than I had ever been in my life—and I have found myself in some pretty nerve-racking situations. But then before I could think about it any longer, “Poof!” they pulled back the curtain, Jackie and her dad left, and I was ushered inside.
It was a narrow tent, with a long red carpet leading the way to the President and First Lady of the United States of America standing tall at the end. The red carpet must have been 1000 miles long—at least it seemed 1000 miles long to me as I strolled down the path—but when I reached the end, the pomp and circumstance seemed to fall away, and there were two real people there, real people who reached out, gave me a big hug, and said thanks for coming … and just like most everything that comes out of their mouths, you could tell they really meant it.
They were no longer the President and First Lady there in that tent. They were REAL. Somehow in those three minutes they made me feel at ease and conveyed the truth of the human experience: that no one is any better or worse than anyone else.”—Jim James of My Morning Jacket: “Barack Obama is not a robot.” (via barackobama)